Helga's Parrot
Summary Arnold is on the bus. He asks Lila if she will work with him. She agrees. Helga gets jealous and wonders what Arnold sees in her. She gets home to see that Bob purchased a parrot. He tells it to say "All hail, the Beeper King". That night, Bob is annoyed by its squawking and puts it in Helga's room. Helga says a poem and writes it down. She keeps saying poems about her love for Arnold, not knowing the bird was there and heard every word of it. That morning she discovers the bird and finds out it heard every word. It starts talking and Helga tries to get it to shut up. Miriam asks what Helga is doing and she says "nothing". She goes to the garage to find a chainsaw and kill the bird. Unfortunately, Bob hears the bird talking and tries to kill it himself, but it escapes out the window. Helga returns to find the bird outside. She tries to talk it into coming back, but it just defecates on her arm. She yells that it can't hide. She tries numerous attempts to catch it but fails. It flies into Arnold's house and Helga fears the worst. She tries to ask Arnold if he's seen a parrot, but sees it and changes the question before leaving. Arnold talks to his Grandpa and he says that they should keep it. They leave to go get some birdseed. Helga follows them. She tries to grab the bird, but it lets out a squawk. Arnold and Grandpa turn around and ask Helga if she is buying a pet. She says yes and that she is getting a monitor lizard. Arnold says it looks mean, but the owner says not to talk Helga out of it because the lizard has been here for so long she's taught it how to read. She leaves it with Phoebe until she can think of a plan. Helga sneaks into the boarding house and hides in Arnold's room. Lila comes in and they start working on their project. Arnold's parrot starts talking and almost says Helga. Lila says Arnold should bring the bird tomorrow for show & tell. Helga pulls on Lila's hair and thump's Arnold's ear to distract them. The parrot is about to say the whole poem, but Helga pushes Lila down so they don't listen. Lila is scared and insists they do the project at her house. Helga stays at Arnold's house during the night and sleeps in the hiding couch. She accidentally loses the remote. Tomorrow comes and Arnold has left for school with the bird. Helga busts out of the ceiling and limps for school. She arrives and finds the bird talking. Phoebe tells Helga that her parents won't let her keep the lizard. Helga does not care. The lizard manages to get loose of its collar and Phoebe looks for it. The bird is saying the entire poem while Helga sneaks up from behind. When she is about to hit it, the lizard shows up and swallows the bird whole. The class is grossed while Lila tries to comfort Arnold. Mr. Simmons tries to tell the class that what just happened was part of nature. He tries to talk more, but faints at the sight of the lizard. Helga says that she and the lizard will get along just fine, while she laughs evilly.